


A Mother's Love is Closest to Eternal Torment

by AnnaCipactli12



Series: Hearts Beneath the Ocean [4]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV), The Tudors (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-07-29 06:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7672849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaCipactli12/pseuds/AnnaCipactli12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year has passed since Bess has married the King in the North, Jon Targaryen, and while the King looks for future betrothals for his grandsons, Mary's ambitions become more well known to her family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mother from Hell and Hell on Earth

_"See the animal in his cage that you built_   
_are you sure what side you are on?_   
_Better not to look too closely in the eye_   
_Are you sure what side of the glass you're on?_   
_See the safety of the life you have built_   
_Everything where it belongs_   
_Feel the hollowness inside of your heart_   
_And it is all just right where it belongs_

_What if everything around you isn't quite as it seems?_   
_What if all the world you think you know_   
_is an elaborate dream?_   
_If you look at your reflection is it all you wanted to be?_   
_What if you could look right through the cracks_   
_would you find yourself afraid to see?_

_What if all the world is inside of your heard?_   
_Just creations of your own_   
_The devils and the gods all living in the dead_   
_and you are really all alone_   
_You can live in this illusion_   
_You can choose to believe_   
_You keep looking but you can't find the words_   
_are you hiding in the trees?_

_What if everything around isn't quite as it seems?_   
_What if all the world you used to know_   
_is an elaborate dream?_   
_If you look at your reflection_   
_is that all you want to be_   
_what if you could look right through the cracks_   
_would you find yourself afraid to see?"_   
**_~Right Where it Belongs by Nine Inch Nails_ **

“I have invited the Duke of Bavaria to come and stay. Our family ought to know him better than they do.”

“Why?” Tommen asked, lowering his book to meet her eyes, already bored with this conversation.

“Because he is brother to the late Anne of Cleves and I’ve met him when he came to England asking for my hand. His cousin, the Duke of Cleves, thinks it is a good idea. He has written to my father, proposing a union between our eldest son and his daughter.”

“So that is the reason why you want him to come back? He failed to impress you the first time and now that you are stuck with your bastard husband, you see the benefit of such union. Or you would have if you were smart enough not to turn him down before.”

“I did not turn him down.” Mary said, leaving out what really happened. _He will never understand that. He has never been a chess piece the way I have._ She smiled as their children came. She only had eyes for her youngest. “My dearest. How big you look. Look at you Kathryn, more beautiful every day.”

“Thanks lady mother. But it is only the dress. Aunt Bessie sent these from Winterfell. Can you believe she made these herself? I have never felt such fabric like this before.”

“My love, you must remember to call her, Your Grace. She is a Queen now.” _As you will be if God is willing_. “And my dearest boy, I have some news for you.”

“Really?” He asked, holding her hands. His eyes wide with curiosity. Like his father, his eyes were green, but their shape was like hers. _And his head_. _A golden crown on his head like his brothers_. But whereas the others possessed a golden one, John’s head was lighter. “Will it be a new present from uncle Jon?”

“His Grace, Jon Targaryen, mi amor.” Mary reminded him. “And no, it is not that. It is something far better. His Grace, the Duke of Bavaria and Count Palatine is coming to England to propose a marriage for your older brother with one of his cousin’s daughters and he is bringing many presents for the royal family.”

“Including me?” John asked, his eyes alit with happiness at the thought of more toys.

“Yes, including you. You are part of the royal family and as the youngest boy, you will get plenty of gifts.”

“Yay! I am going to make room for them and give the old ones to the hospitals. I can’t wait to meet him now.”

“He is not going to stop talking about it for days. He will probably look out his window, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, even though he has no idea how he looks.” Kathryn said as her youngest brother raced up the stairs to his room. “You shouldn’t have told him that.”

“Let him have some fun before he finds out that his gifts will be new books.”

Kathryn laughed at that. Her youngest brother loved his toys more than his books. “What does this have to do with me, though? I doubt that he will have a lot to give to me since it will be my older brother who will be the target of the negotiations.”

“You say that as if it is a death sentence.” Mary commented. “But as the only girl, yet unwed, who is a direct descendant of His Majesty, he will have lots of dresses from his cousin. And his cousin’s wife is a collector of many rare items she likes to give to her good friends, so there will be plenty of new necklaces and tiaras for you to add to your growing collection.”

Kathryn was glad to hear at that. She missed her aunt dearly, but perhaps it wasn’t so bad now that she was the only (yet unwed, as her mother said) descendant of His Majesty. Besides clothes and jewelry, she would be the center of attention.

“What does my bride look like?” Her oldest brother asked their mother. Always so formal with his hands behind his back, his eyes revealing nothing of his true feelings, he came close to her, waiting for an answer.

“I do not know. You will have to wait and see.” Mary said, keeping her tone even, but her oldest son could tell she was annoyed.

“I have heard that the Cleves girls are really beautiful and that they are dutiful daughters. When His Majesty, my lord grandfather sent his ambassadors to Cleves, they were greeted by two women who covered their faces saying ‘I am Amelia’ and ‘I am Anne.’ Their brother would not let them see their faces until the King’s minister subtly threatened to look elsewhere.”

“Thank you for the history lesson, my dear son, but we are all aware of what the King said and did. I was there.”

“I know you were there mother but I was not and I wanted to confirm what is on the mouths of every one of His Majesty’s subjects before His Grace makes his grand entrance, so I do not repeat my lord grandfather’s mistakes.”

“And what mistake will that be, sweetheart?” Mary asked, her patience thinning.

“The Duke of Bavaria came at a terrible time when His Majesty could wait to be rid of his fourth wife, or third, or second, depending on how you pray. So he had no idea that his courtship of you would fail, nor did he know how to deal with English courtiers. Like his cousin, he was ignorant of our ways and took His Majesty’s words too heart. Some said, that he hasn’t married in honor of the one woman he gave his heart to, which most assume it is you.”

“I would not know of _assume_. You do not speak for every person in the world William, and assuming is not a smart thing to do. His Grace came here to court me, as it is the custom of every noble and royal man who wants to make his master, or in his case, his House proud -which he almost succeeded had it not been for your grandfather’s infatuation with your late step-grandmother.”

“You mean his rose without a thorn.”

“Yes, I mean his rose without a thorn.” Mary said, gritting her teeth. Though she had more thorns than she let on.

“That still doesn’t change the fact that the Duke and his cousin were not prepared. Since then, the latter has become accustomed to our customs but I will have to learn his as well if I want to make my future bride happy -at home in a strange land.”

“That is a good course of action, son.” Tommen said, proud at his son’s way of thinking. “But you probably won’t meet her in another year or so. The Duke’s visit is merely a formality.”

“Nonetheless, I want to get started. Not just for her, but for anyone I might marry in the future. It will not suit any foreign bride to marry a husband who is unappreciative of her culture.”

“That is very true.” Tommen said, prouder still.

Mary scoffed. Look who is talking. Tommen did not know anything about anything and yet here he was, commending their eldest son for his interest in learning about his bride’s culture.

“Is something the matter, mother? Do you wish me to call the servants to get you a glass of wine?”

“I am fine, William. I am just weary that is all.”

“From what?” He inquired, unwilling to let this go.

“I am just tired, William.”

“You do not look tired, yet again, the feminine condition is always a mystery to me, especially when it comes to older and frail women.” William said and he knew he had hit the nail there, as Mary gripped the handles of her chair and her glare intensified.

“William, brother, maybe you should go upstairs and make sure that John is not messing up his room again while he waits for His Grace.”

“Of course sister. As always, you are the voice of reason in our troubled lot.” William said with a smile, then went to see his baby brother.

“Do not worry about him, lady mother. He will come around. He is just nervous about his future bride showing up. He told me that he would not know what to do if that happens.”

“I know, sweetheart. But it is still hard to hear him speak to me thus.” Mary said, thanking God for giving her such an understanding child.

Tommen laughed at that.

“Is something funny, husband?”

“That depends.” Tommen said. His laughter died down and his smile was replaced with a frown. “Is there a ring of truth to what our son said? Did he fail to please your father before he did you?”

“Kathryn take your twin brother upstairs.”

“Yes, lady mother.” Kathryn said, leading her twin to their play room. Once they were gone, she asked Tommen why did he have to bring it up, now of all times?

“I always thought you were a resentful bitch who couldn’t bear the thought of facing her fears, but now I know better. You do not hate me because your father made me marry you after you refused Philip. You hate me, because you could have married him instead of me, had it not been for his inability to learn about the English culture like his cousin.” Tommen said. “He was the one man you truly loved and seeing him again for a third time, excited but also irks you.”

“No. That is not it, Tommen though you do have a vivid imagination. The reason why it irks me is because he was the only one man who truly loved me and wasn’t just seeking the possible crown I could have worn one day, or looking to increase his income. He loved me for me! And I loved him but my father has never been wise. When he divorced the lady Anne, it was discovered she was with child but she miscarried and she soon died. My father cared very little as he was enjoying his new whore, until he found who she really was and the rest as we know is history.”

“So you do have a heart underneath that ambition.”

“I have always had a heart Tommen and I was ready to give it to you.” Mary rose. “You have to keep pretending that you are the only person who understands everyone else, but you are not the only one who has been played against his will. That has been my life from day one. I have watched people I loved killed and tortured. You think you are special because you lost your beloved pregnant wife?”

“Do not go there.”

“I lost everything but I endured! I endured because I knew that if I didn’t I would have been no better than what people thought of me. Have you ever thought how many times we’ve come to destroying ourselves, not just in Europe or Westeros, over a petty argument? Life is cruel, Tommen. But you know what? I survive because that is the only thing that is left to do in this world. Survive and that means not being prisoner by useless morality that we hold dear, that our parents taught us when we were children to protect us from the true horrors of this world. I put up with you, forced myself not to throw up when you forced your way with me, because of my children. If it weren’t for them I would have slit your throat or suffocated you while you slept, or jumped from the highest window years ago. It is for them that I do all of this.”

“You are right.” Tommen said, rising slowly. “But I grew up with the greatest liar the world has ever seen and from experience I know when someone is lying to others. Perhaps you did feel once, perhaps you do want to open your legs for Philip, perhaps you did love me as you often claim … once … but the truth is what is in front of me now. A selfish hag. Beautiful, I will give you that but selfish nonetheless. Yet you have that in your favor because if it weren’t for your looks, spilling my seed on you or taking you while you sleep would be more painful.”

He walked past her then turned back to her. “I do not enjoy hurting you but even the best of souls can see how annoying you are to be around with. Even the saintliest of man in your faith, would not hesitate to throw you across the room, or kick the hell out of you because of your big mouth. You are a pathetic creature Mary. The only reason you exist is not because you are strong. It is because you are weak and you know that, but are unwilling to accept it, and use it to give a false impression that everyone is against you but the only people who are truly against you are the people who see you for who you really are. So if you will excuse me … wife, I have to go rest. I hope you will join me soon. A bad day is always solved by a good lay in the hay or in our case on our comfortable bed. Will you join me now so I don’t have to get one of your ladies and therefore, avoid us the shame of having our household hear us scream?”

Mary accepted his offer. _For now, at least._ When Philip came, she would wear her best garments and put her eldest son and husband to shame. What they had said to her hurt her. _After everything I have done for them_. Her son’s betrayal hurt most of all. He had felt his kicks when he was in her belly, made sure he was safe and for what? So he could treat her like a dog?  
_He will see too, who I am_. She was a Tudor and descendants of the greatest monarchs that ever lived. Tommen should be thankful to the gods, god, or whatever it was he believed in now, that he was with her because her lineage was purer than any other bride in Europe and Westeros. As for her son _… Let him rejoice in the prospect of being free once he marries that chit from Cleves._ He will come running back to her, begging like the little helpless dog he was and when he did, she would be the good mother and listen to his sorrows, wrapping his arms around him _. I am a good mother and I will protect him from any danger, including from himself._ She could bear his hatred because that is what mothers did. They let their sons and daughters do unto much evil to them as they pleased because they were put on this earth to protect them, to love them. Her children were gifts from god and she was never going to let anyone touch them, or abandon them the way her father did to all of his children.  
And when they are finally safe, they will thank me. And even if they did not, she would still protect them. Love them, hold them close, because they were hers and because they were hers, they were special and she wasn’t going to let anybody steal them from her.  
_They will hate me, I do not care. It is my duty to protect them. God gave them to me and only God can take them away. I will spend as much time with them as I can, never taking my eye of them and as there is still breath in my body, I will do everything to insure their futures. To make them the men and woman they were meant to be, with me as their royal matriarch._

* * *

_"And you will be mine." Philip said, quoting from one of the new poems he had turned into a song for her. Mary laughed. Her laughter was like a soft melody to his tragic lyrics. She had asked him why he wrote like this and his answer was because after seeing so much war and devastation, there was little beauty to be found in this world, until he met her._

_Mary was not just beautiful. As a man in need of a wife, there was no denying that she was attractive, her dark auburn hair and dark grey eyes, and fair skin. But it was what inside that drew him to her. She smiled even when she was nervous, she smiled when she felt she needed to make someone better and she listened to the plight of her tenants in ways no other courtier before her, even a matriarch, had. He promised her that he would marry her and it would be the greatest ceremony to have been seen in England._

_Mary laughed at this. She neared him and without giving a second thought to propriety, the two kissed. It was long and it was sweet. And what was better for her, she confessed to him that it was her first._

_"I am glad to have been your first. Soon I will be your first as well in other ways." She blushed at that._

_"You are too bold Your Grace."_

_"Philip. Call me Philip."_

_"Philip." Mary said and the two kissed again. After their lips parted she took off her jeweled tiara and her pins and let her hair loose, then her necklace and twined her arms around him. Philip's hands went to her hips. "Not here." He said and led her to her bedchamber where they closed the doors behind him._

_Nobody would bother them. Her father was going to sign that treaty any minute, if he hadn't already, and when he announced their betrothal; she would feel much better in the morning. But their encounter was cut short by her best friend Susan who said that the Queen needed to talk to her cousin. The two sighed and unlocked their arms from one another. Still fully clothed, Mary adjusted a new necklace and headdress while Philip worked on his collar._

_"It is a shame we have to wait." Mary said._

_"There will be plenty of time for getting to know each other when we are married." He said calmly and before he left he smiled warmly at her, bidding her a good night._

The Duke and Count woke from his day-dreaming and returned his attention to his carriage. He had asked to travel alone, but his niece had insisted. Like her father, she was impossible to say 'no' to and she was eager to meet her future groom. "There is no guarantee you will see him." Her mother told her while Philip chatted with her father about the final arrangements of the treaty. But she did not want to listen. She wanted to see him to make sure he was "worthy" of her. Philip thought it was cute. His niece always saw the best in everyone, but she could also be arrogant like her father and realizing that there was no other way but to comply to her demands, he told her mother that she could come with him.

The little lady of Cleves was an exceptional lady. She wasn't like her late aunt who barely knew how to read, write or talk in any other language that wasn't her native tongue or Latin. Philip's niece could talk in many languages and loved to read many books, though she didn't love the classics as her future groom's mother did, and she wasn't a fan of sports or enjoyed hunting like her English counterparts did.

"What were you dreaming about this time?:" She asked him, once he was fully awake.

"Nothing."

"You are lying. You were thinking of her again, were you not uncle?"

He smirked. And she is too smart for her own good. "I was." There was no use lying to her. She would just keep pressing on the subject until he lost his patience. 

"Why did you not marry her?"

"You know why. Her father said  no." Philip said, not wishing to revisit the subject and least of all with his niece.

"But you loved her. That must have counted for something."

"When it comes to royals, my lady, love doesn't factor in the equation."

"That is a shame. I think you would have made a good lord. Certainly much better than her current husband is now."

"That is the kind of talk your groom's grandfather will not want to hear from you." _Or your groom if he is like his useless father._ Hearing what Mary went through, angered him. He wished he was the man he was when he had fought against the Turks and fended them off from Vienna in 1529. But war and politics were two different battlefields and he was more skilled in dealing with the former than the latter. Still, a part of him  thought of the many ways he could kill Mary's husband.  
During his second visit to England, he had seen how her expression changed when she saw him. Both of them were happy to see each other again, yet she was bound to Tommen and he could do little but to offer her his friendship. She accepted and he did his best to make her laugh, and show her some of the things he had got from his travels. When the day came, the two parted. Again on friendly terms. Now that he was back, he was not going to waste this opportunity. He was going to tell her how much he loved her and kiss her and if her husband came, he would make him pay for all the years of misery she had suffered with him.

"Which is why he should like me. He married Catherine of Aragon, against what everyone said. He married Anne Boleyn when it was clearly a bad idea and he married Jane Seymour and executed his second wife when he knew she'd done nothing wrong, he divorced my aunt when he knew she was a virgin and married someone who was not and later executed her, even when his councilors had warned him that he would be miserable with her. And now he is married to someone with no dirty past. If his grandson is anything like him, I just have to make him smile long enough for him to be convinced that marrying me will be the best thing that will ever happen to him so when someone says it is a bad idea, he will tell them it is not and marry me against what the rest tell him of me."

"You are very smart but a lot has changed since the King married all those women. And his grandson might be another matter entirely."

"I do not think so. I hear he is handsome and well read." She said, sighing as she conjured a mental image of him.

"You shouldn't base your opinion of him on looks alone. It is what is inside that matters."

"For you perhaps uncle, but for me, I would rather marry a charming gentleman." His niece said, smiling at the thought.

 _Children._  He was once young too. _Good thing I grew up fast._ He hoped that Mary's eldest son was every bit like her. He didn't wish his cousin to go through what his love went through every night.

 


	2. Innocence Lost

_“And it feels like heaven is so far away_  
and it stinks, yeah it stinks now  
that you have gone away!  
…  
I reach to the skies and call out your name!  
Oh please let me trade, I would!”  
**~Gone Away by the Offspring**

“Philip” Mary whispered. “It’s been too long.”

“Very long indeed.” Philip agreed, waiting for her to dismiss her ladies. When she didn’t, seeing his frustration, she told him: “Tommen could be spying on us. Usually he doesn’t care but in case he comes and fulfills his promise to his father, I want you to be here when he does.”

“So I can kill him?” Philip asked, hopeful.

“No. So he can see that I am capable of loving someone other than myself.” She said.

He advanced towards her and before she could tell him ‘no’, he locked their lips in a searing kiss. “I have always loved you. I wanted you to make you mine when your father was still finding a way out of his marriage to my cousin but I refrained from doing so because I knew that would ruin you but I can’t bear it any longer. I love you Mary, I always have. If my cousin had lived-“

“Stop.” She put two fingers on her lips. Some things were better left unsaid. “We can’t change what happened.”

“The hell we can.” He said after removing her soft fingers from his lips. “She was going to arrange for you to marry me. She would have denounced your husband as a heretic and with a son in her arms, your father would have believed her and he would have married you to me afterwards.”

“Both you and I know that is not true.”

“It is.” He insisted. “That is why you kissed me that day. Because I was your first. Your first love, not that bastard.  
Mary, why are you still married to him?”

_What a fool he is._ And for that, she loved him. Because he was her fool _. And because he loves me_. He saw the horrible creature she was underneath and didn’t care.  
“You know why. I have ambitions and my children … if it were not for them, I would have killed myself a long time ago.”

“Do not speak thus. I have seen many horrible things in my journeys. When I defended Vienna from the Turks, I became an honorary member of the Order of the Golden Fleece. I was so sure that I would make the House of Wittelsbach, the Herzog von Pfalz and the La Marck clans proud and for a time I did, until it became clear I was a better warrior than I was a politician. None of that compare to what he has done to you. When I first heard about you, my brother told me to make you fall in love with me. ‘She doesn’t love her husband, so seeing a new pretty face will take her away from him.’ That was the plan but I didn’t factor in falling in love with you. You became my weakness. I wanted nothing more than to free you. I kept thinking afterwards ‘if Anne had not died with that babe on her belly, then the two of us would’ve been happy.’”

“But she did die and Tommen took me not long after you left. He asked me ‘you know why your father loves your sister’ and when I refused to answer, he told me ‘it is because she is a dutiful daughter’.” Mary frowned, remembering how she tried to escape and he caught her before she reached the door. “I screamed and begged him to let me go. ‘I gave you a son’ -I said but that wasn’t enough for him. He believed … still believes … that the curse of Melusina will take them as it took mine and Bess’ mother’s sons.” She looked away. “I can still feel him, inside me. Each thrust … After he finished, he ordered my maids to dress me. When I found out I was pregnant, he came again and stabbed me. ‘For luck’ he said, in case the midwives were wrong. When my belly started to grow and it was clear to everyone I was carrying twins, he said he’d leave me be until they were born and I would return to him. The only light left in me was the prospect that one of them could be mine. William was always Tommen’s and my father’s. I wanted these to be mine and when I heard one of the midwives say that the second one was a girl I was happy. She had Tommen’s eyes and other Lannister traits, but my hair color. Then Tommen came and took her. ‘Queens do not do that.’ He said when he saw I was about to breastfeed her. For the first time, I had the courage to tell him that I was better to him. For the first time, I stood up for myself and didn’t say I was sorry. But he had his way. He took them away from me and didn’t let me see them until they were old enough to speak and walk. If it wasn’t for Queen Kathryn, they’d still be kept from me. After they were returned and I found I was with child for the last time, I made a promise while looking at his dead wife’s portrait that one day I would make myself mistress of everything and that it would be me who would be remembered, not her and certainly not his whores. So now you see why I can’t run away. This is all I have.”

“No, you have me.” Philip said kissing her again. Her loyal ladies in waiting looked ahead, ignoring the soft moans that came from their mistress’ lips. “You will always have me. I would sell my soul to the devil if that keeps you safe.”

“And I would persuade him to give it to me so I can always have you.” Mary said, twining her arms around his neck. “You look handsomer than before.”

“I always wear the best for you.”

“No, that is not it. Your face. The scars. When? How?” She asked taking one arm away from his neck and tracing her fingers gently across the one in his cheek. They were barely noticeable, especially this one but Mary -who never missed a thing- was intrigued to know the story behind each one.

Philip smirked. _Leave it to her to be attracted to battle scars._ She was after all the granddaughter of the Catholic Kings, who took Granada by Force, and the daughter of Catherine of Aragon. The only wife -other than his present one- to be appointed Regent. After the English armies defeated the Scots, Catherine ordered James IV’s bloody coat to be brought to Henry. _“A trophy.”_ She had written, declaring she would have wanted to send him his body instead but his councilors didn’t let her.

He took her other hand down, and used the one she had on his face to trace each other, explaining their origin. “This one, I got it in Westeros while I was visiting the Night’s Watch. They needed and experienced warrior to train the new recruits and Ser Jaime was very busy overseeing construction of forts in other places, so it was up to me. As you can see, they were very inexperienced, or else they would have cut my head in half with those battle axes I gave them.” He said with a chuckle then moved her fingers to the one across his other eye. “This one has an interesting story. I was negotiating with some pirates to steal some of your cousin’s treasure and since they failed miserably, I took command of their ships and succeeded but it came at a cost. Good thing, your cousin’s Spanish warriors are not as good as me.”

“You arrogant fool. Must you always be so confident Herr Philip?” She asked with a grin.

“On the contrary, I am not afraid to be in the company of lesser men than me. Your cousin on the other hand, thinks he owns half the world. It was about time somebody taught him a lesson. And who better than me?” Philip asked, grinning back.

Mary smirked.  She leaned forward and whispered in his ear: “Why don’t you teach him another lesson by plowing his beloved cousin?”

“I want nothing more than to shame him but I am a pragmatist. My family still needs him. It is why the Duke of Cleves married his brother’s eldest daughter.  
Then again I am also a warrior who hasn’t been with a woman for years.” Philip said, moving his hand down from her neck to her hip. “Give me one good reason, why I shouldn’t give in to my basic needs.”

“I can think of many but I won’t because I want to feel a real sword being thrusted in me by an experienced warrior not a wanna-be.”

Philip smirked. She is truly her grandmother and mother’s heir. He kissed her fiercely then pushed her against the bed, ripped her dress and she undid his hose, vest until he was left in just his chemise and she in nothing but her emerald green necklace with the lion medal on the center indicating to whom she belonged to.

“Are you sure you want this?” Philip asked, bothered by the sight of her necklace. He hoped that what she said was true and Tommen did come so he could see what an experienced warrior looked like naked, and how he made love to a real woman.

“I am. I have never been more sure of anything in my life.” She said, he leaned forward, averting his eyes away from the necklace but Mary tipped his chin and lowered his gaze.

“Let me take this off.” Philip asked, feeling his blood boil as he saw the lion looking back at him.

“No. I want him to be with us, if not in body then in name so every time he takes me, I will know that you and I have already horned him.”

Philip laughed coldly, now able to bear the sight of that damned thing he looked up to meet her eyes. “You are one cruel mistress, my lady.” He said then added something in German.

Mary laughed at the last part, having learned some of his native language. “You mock me too much. I am not a goddess.”

“You are to me. Goddess Freya. The Norse mythology said she was the most beautiful of all the gods. Mortal and immortal men would line up just to see her. Some died for her, hoping that they’d be remembered. She did what she wanted, when she wanted.”

“And slept with whoever she wanted to.” Mary finished for him. “I am not completely ignorant. You forget I was taught by the best.”

“It is too bad they didn’t teach you about love making. All those years, closeted like a nun, betrothed from one man to the next until they married you to the worst lover the world has to offer.”

She chuckled. “You are impossible. Is no one better than you?”

“When it comes to love making and the battlefield, no, except a few.” Philip admitted, thinking of Mary’s Plantagenet ancestors, primarily her Yorkist great-grandfather, Edward IV, and her husband’s father, the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch.  
  
“God made a grave mistake, not making you a man. He on the other hand, would have made a great maiden with everyone looking underneath his skirts.”

She chuckled loudly. “You are far too outrageous but I am afraid that is true. But where would that leave us? “

“I would have found a way to get to you.” Philip said with a mischievous smile. Under normal circumstances Mary would have been alarmed at his words, but this was anything but normal. Mary had been raised, as Philip put it, a nun and she had played the part of the dutiful daughter, the obedient wife. No more. She was tired of it _. Am I not allowed some happiness? Haven’t I earned this?_

When Philip entered her, she didn’t scream or begged him to stop. There was no blood though she wished there was because she didn’t fancy having been first stabbed by Tommen; but that didn’t make his sword less precise. _He is a warrior through and through_ , she thought as he took her again. He never missed. And whereas Tommen had been rough, Philip was gentle, and mindful, carefully assessing every move, making sure he succeeded in pleasing her like when he succeeded in killing his enemies.

**~o~**

While Mary and Philip were having a good time, Tommen was asking his son what he thought about his future bride.

“She is much more beautiful in person than her portrait. It is good that my lord grandfather hired a better painter than Holbein, though it would have been better if he flattered her more.”

The Duke of Richmond chuckled at his son’s statements. “If he had William than he would have been no better than Holbein and we would have another Anne of Cleves incident.”

“You are wrong father. While I commend my lord grandfather in many things, I am nothing like him. I know what my duty is and I would have praised her even if she were ugly.”

“Good thing she is not.” Tommen said, always impressed by his son’s etiquette. At times William reminded him of his grandfather, Lord Tywin Lannister, at others of Henry VIII. William loved all the classical works and surrounded himself by the brightest minds in his grandfather’s court, old and young, but he also loved modern works and while he dressed flamboyantly, he was moderate when it came to his expenses.  
“But you must still make a bigger effort. She comes from a different place. You have to remember that, in case you ask her about her favorite things. Cleves girls do not know how to dance and I doubt they know anything about ancient works.”

“That is not entirely accurate.” Kathryn said, joining their conversation, looking up from her book. “I talked with the lady of Cleves and she says her favorite books are the classics, especially Plato.”

“Just like mama.” John said enthusiastically, always eager to smile at his family, especially when his mother was talked about. “Is her favorite book Plato’s Republic too?”

“No, it is Symposium which is highly overrated in my opinion.” Kathryn said, putting the book he had let go of, back in his hands so he wouldn’t be part of their father and older brother’s conversation.

“My opinion as well, sister. I recently discovered a new dance, I plan to ask her if she knows about it but before putting her to shame, in case she doesn’t know about it, I think you could ask her instead sister.”

“What a brilliant idea, brother. I could ... for a price.” She said, smiling innocently.

William rolled his eyes. “What would you like?”

“Nothing … just your collection of books, including the translations you have done with our lady step-grandmother of the Maester’s The Great Houses of Westeros before the Great War.”

“That is not fair. I worked hard on those translations.”

“And now you are giving them up for love. It is either that or nothing.”

William did not look at his father. He knew what his old man’s expression would be and besides, he could already hear his sniggering.

“Fine but you better find something good.”

“Oh, don’t worry about me brother. I am good at finding things about others, especially those in my gender.” She said, glad that her brother was finally taking her observation skills into consideration.

“It is not you, I worry about. It is my future bride.” William said, annoyed at his sister’s impertinence.

“Come now brother, you can lie to everyone but not to your family.”

Now he looked at his father who was unable to resist any longer. He was laughing loudly. “She has there, you son.” He slapped his son’s back. “You will do fine. After your sister finds what she has to about the lady of Cleves, you can entertain her with tales of your favorite authors … and hers.”

William mentally smiled at that. He had been charmed by the lady of Cleves. She was beautiful and her laughter was almost infectious. _She doesn’t laugh the way mother does, silently watching who makes a mistake and making fun of them in private to prove a point. She is elegant. Truly elegant and dutiful, but not held back by courtly restraints like my grandfather’s ladies._

After his sister had fulfilled her part of the bargain, he fulfilled his, but she refused. “I do not understand.”

“You do not have to. I see that you like her. And that is marvelous, because I can finally see you act like a human being and not some mindless drone, nodding at everything our lord father says.”

“Or holding back my anger at our lady mother.” He added.

She smiled sadly. “Give her time William. You do not know what she’s gone through. It might not seem like she cares, but she does.”

“Sister,” he said smiling back. “what will I do when you are off in some foreign country married to some poor bloke?”

“You will have me here in spirit. If you have a daughter, that daughter will have Tratasmara and Tudor and Lannister, and now von Cleves spirit.”

“That is to fear.”

Before the lady of Cleves left with her entourage and her uncle, the two met again.

“My lady.” He greeted her as she made her entrance to the great hall, accompanied by the Cleves Ambassador.

“My lord of Lancaster.” She said. “Where is your lady mother? I would have loved to meet with her again.”

“I am afraid she is indisposed. She was not feeling well so the King and my lord father granted her permission to remain in her quarters.”

“What a coincidence, so is my uncle. He hates the English weather. He says it does him no good.”

“Maybe he should stay in Bavaria then.” William asked, hoping that the good lord would answer his prayers.

She lowered her eyes and laughed quietly.

“Shall we?” He asked extending his hand to her. She took it and the two danced. She was not a good dancer but her gay behavior made her well liked.  
“Your sister tells me you do not play a lot of sports. It is a shame because I love hunting. It is one of the few sports I am allowed to engage in.”

“That is rich.” He said attempting to joke but when she didn’t laugh, he apologized. “I heard about your father increasing your income from the ambassador and I thought I could have a little fun at your expense.”

“Don’t then. Leave the jokes to me and your sister until you know how to jest better.” She said, enjoying how he blushed. She was going to receive good money for that. Her late aunt, Anne of Cleves, had been a gambler and so was she. _But unlike her, I always win_. His sister had said nobody ever made him blush or smile, **really smile**.

“I am not so bad at jesting as I am at hunting. I do enjoy it but to elaborate on what you said earlier my lady, I do know how to do other things but when it comes to taking care of important matters of state or my parents’ household or mine, I choose the latter.”

She looked at him questioningly. When they ended their dance, they went to the table upon the dais and he explained. “My lord grandfather’s health is failing him. Since my birth, he meant me to be a companion to my uncles, Edward and Edmund but since I surpassed his expectations, he took me to private council meetings and last year, he appointed me Sheriff of two important counties. It is not something I wanted but I took it because it would help England. Therefore, I have very little time for games.”

“What a dutiful grandson you are but when we marry, you will have to make time for hunting.” She said and he nodded, knowing it was not a matter of discussion.

“Anything for you my lady.” He said, giving her a small smile.  Now she was the one blushing. Oh pooh, I lost my bet to his sister. But she was glad to because she had never met someone more dashing. Despite having the same name as her father, he was so different from him. Her father was strict, firm and while William often seemed cold, he wasn’t “I don’t suppose you will let me call you by your Christian name.”

“Nothing would please me more my good lord, but I am afraid that would be too bold even for a royal gentleman such as yourself.”

“Then my lady will do.” William said and after he tasted his steak, he said “Shame, for Marie Eleanor is a beautiful name.”

She turned her head to him. Her eyes dancing with mischief. “’Tis is.” She agreed, feeling delighted that he had called her by her Christian name. Her mother always complained that it was such a mouthful while her father wished she had just one. Her uncle was always there to act as the peacemaker, telling her that she had the most beautiful name ever. But that was only because he thought he was doing her a favor. Being the eldest child was not easy, especially when you were a girl, and her uncle thought that she would face the same difficulties as his cousin Sybille or his other cousin, the late Anne of Cleves did but His Grace didn’t know her very well. She was a girl, she was not ashamed to admit that to herself, and she was well aware of the age restrictions placed on her gender and people of her status, but unlike the ones he had encountered, she didn’t let that stop her from achieving her goals.  
She knew what she wanted right from the start and when her uncle proposed to go back to England, this time as her father’s marriage broker, she pleaded with her parents in front of him, knowing he’d convince them to let her go.

_And everything went so well._ She thought, smiling wider as he whispered her name again. She mentally crossed her fingers for the King to call her back again so she and William could be married before the year was over. Now that she met him, and the two of them had become besotted with one another, they couldn’t picture themselves married to someone else.

* * *

The two wrote to each other frequently. William ignored his parents’ fights, focusing instead on helping his grandfather and telling his betrothed all about it.

For the first time, William allowed himself to be disconnected from his tiresome family. He looked forward to his wedding day. His lady step-grandmother told him not to look for independence because he would never find it. England was only allowing him this because it wanted Cleves as an ally as before, and his future bride was the key to that. Nonetheless, William allowed himself to dream because his sister had been right in one thing. The lady of Cleves did make him happy and he wanted nothing more than to make her happy in return.

While Mary danced around the issue that had arisen at court, of marrying her only daughter to the King of the North’s eldest son, she became invested in other things, primarily her new gowns.

“This won’t do.” She told Susan as she looked at herself from every angle in both mirrors. “I look fat.”

“You will look fat in two months when you begin showing, so does it matter if it is too much now?”

“It does. I am going to look like an over-stuffed peacock.” Mary jested. Susan laughed then she turned serious.

“When are you going to tell Tommen?”

“He will know soon enough.”

Susan looked at her with that expression again.

“He is going to know soon enough Susan.” Mary insisted. “Besides, I want to enjoy what little freedom will await me once he does.” A smile appeared on her lips. No more sharing a bed with him, or being at his mercy.

When Tommen found out however, she got nothing of that sort. He made her drop on her knees and beg him for mercy. “I will not.” She said through gritted teeth.

“You will or I will make sure that baby is shipped off to some kind family and if you utter a word about his bastard to him, I will tell my men to drown it in the Thames.”

“You bastard!” He slapped her.

“Now that is unkind of you. I am not the one who is carrying a bastard in my belly. You will either kneel and beg or you will say goodbye to your child.”

Mary bit her lips. Just say it. It is just one word. But it hurt so much. With no other choice, she did as she was told and begged him for mercy.

“Good. There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who knows her place. Margaery came to her knees when the High Sparrow told her it was either ‘submit’ or ‘walk’ and she became very loved for that. Intelligent women do as they are told, sweetheart.” He said, holding her chin, gently rubbing his thumb against her cheek. After he removed them, he leaned forward and kissed her. “But I am not yet satisfied. There is something more I want you to do while you lay there like an obedient subject.”

Before Mary could ask what that was, Tommen ordered their servants to leave them and lock the doors behind them. When they were gone, he took off his clothes and her snood from her hair, letting it fall freely to floor then undid the strings on the back of her dress. She was about to get up, but he held a hand telling her to stay on her knees.

“You look so beautiful without all that heavy jewelry. I would have wished you did not have to take that necklace off though. I would have loved a part of me to be there when he fucked you, so he’d know that you belong to me.”

_He did. And he enjoyed it_. But she would not say it. Instead she would carry that secret to her grave, taking pleasure in knowing how she and Philip had horned him and how Tommen still thought he was a better lover than the Duke.

“Good.” He said once she got out of her gown, careful not to raise her knees too much and then returned to her begging position. “Now you are going to open your mouth and please me as you did him and you are going to enjoy it. Is that clear?” She nodded looking down.

Tommen was not satisfied with this last gestured and he grabbed her chin again and told her. “You are going to look at me when I speak and say ‘Yes, sir’ Understood?”

“Yes…”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes sir.”

_I will get you for this Tommen. God may forgive you, the saints may forgive you, and your Protestant friends may turn a blind eye and forgive you but I never will._ He pushed her head forward and moaned loudly.

When they were done and she was on the bed, her back turned to him while his arms were wrapped around her like two snakes, she thought of her dream and her promise to Philip.

Unbeknownst to either of them, William had arrived to their parents’ state early. Court life had become boring with his uncles squabbling like two children and his grandfather decided to give him time off. He wanted to take his siblings but they wanted to stay. Kathryn said she and the queen had new shoes to order.  
He didn’t write to his parents. He wanted it to be a surprise. And given how his parents always fought, he had no desire to be at the heart of one of their discussions. Kathryn asked him once again before he left to be patient with them, especially their mother but William said nothing.  
His mind was made up about his mother. Nothing was going to change that. Nothing except **_this._**  
When he found the servants outside his parents’ chambers worried and several of her ladies crying, he asked what was going on but none answered him. He insisted on opening those doors but they refused until he used subtle threats, and they did.

Although he didn’t go inside their bedchamber, what he heard was enough to give him nightmares.

**_“Just stop Tommen!”_ **

**_“I will tell you when to speak!”_ **

He heard the sound of a slap and a large thud as his mother fell to the floor. He peered through the keyhole and to his great relief, after hearing from one of her ladies that she was with child, she had her arms around her belly to keep it safe from harm.

**_“You bastard! You could have killed him.”_ **

**_“What makes you think it is a he? Perhaps God will punish you by making it a girl since your mother was notorious for giving birth to dead babies except for you.”_ **

**_“Stop it Tommen, just stop it with this nonsense of Melusina. It is not real!”_ **

**_“It is real and if I were such a terrible husband like you love to cry out to your maids, I would have cut you open the way my brother surely would have because he loved cutting open his new toys, especially his pets. He bragged about doing that to the late Sansa Stark if she ever had a baby by our uncle Tyrion.”_ **

**_“Lies. The only monster here is you. I loved you. “_ **

**_“You think that matters to me? I was ready to humiliate myself for my mother but she ruined it. Thirsty for more, she killed my wife and my unborn child.”_ **

**_“She did not know. You blame me for things I had no control over. If you had been man enough to tell her, she would have pulled Margaery out of the Sept.”_ **

Another slap.

**_“If I could trade my life for her and our child, I would have. Anything to keep me away from you. The only good thing you have ever given me is our offspring, but don’t think I would trade them for a life with my beloved because being with you is like being with hell.”_ **

**_“And you think I don’t suffer?”_ **

**_“Yes, you suffer so much that you opened your legs open for the Duke and let him fuck you like you were a common harlot. How did it feel Mary? Debasing yourself for someone who is not your husband? It must have felt good breaking the rules. I take back what I said, you did not act the common harlot, you acted like a royal one, just like your mother who was a notorious whore.”_ **

**_“You dare reproach me? You! A man who has slept with almost every English rose, including the harlot’s niece, Catherine Carey? I hate you Tommen! I hate you for what you’ve done to me but I would not trade my life for anything because I give thanks to God for my children.”_ **

**_“They are my children too, wife!”_ **

**_“No. They are mine. I bore them. I felt their kicks. I would have fed them too if you let me. I am the one who will kill for them, bleed for them if necessary. You have no idea what it is to have life growing inside of you, to see it grow, betray you and treat you like garbage. You are a man just like your surrogate father, Robert Baratheon. You bed whatever pretty face you see, and boast openly to my face without a care in the world how that will affect me. You are soulless!”_ **

**_“And you are a fiend from hell! I could not stop my mother from doing so much evil, but I can stop you. If you do not shut your mouth in the next two seconds I will be the monster you claim me to be.”_ **

William tore his eye from the keyhole. He heard his mother whimper but then she became silent.

**_“It is no wonder why your father thought you were useless.”_ **

**_“How dare you speak that way to me! I am a Queen and King’s daughter while you are still a boy trapped in a man’s body. Your mother did not deserve a thing as pathetic as you.”_ **

**_“I said quiet, woman!”_**  
  
William felt tempted to break those doors but instead he became still like a statue after his father took his mother again. Their grunts, their moans, his mother’s cries, then all of a sudden everything became silent. When he quietly ordered one of his servants to open the doors, William crept in. His mother was asleep, albeit tears still flowed from her eyes.

He immediately left.

“My lord, don’t you want your rooms to be prepared?” William didn’t answer.

“To hell with this!”

He was never going to step foot in this damn house again. He ordered his carriage to head to lord Hertford’s states. He’d spent the night there, and the following day he’d go back to Whitehall.

More than ever, he was going to insist his grandfather to marry him to the lady of Cleves. He didn’t care if the two were not yet of age. They were old enough. Other royals married from the age of twelve or fourteen. Some of his ancestors married at that age and did not consummate their marriage until much later. William was going to make an exception for his case. Knowing that Marie Eleanor couldn’t wait for their wedding night, the two would consummate their union as soon as possible so by the time he would reach his eighteenth birthday, he would be a father and a husband. His own man, far away from his father and mother.

A great part of him still felt the same for his mother. That -as he told his sister- would never change. But the affection he felt for his father was gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Duke of Cleves, AOC's brother did not have children until the 1550s, however for the purpose of this AU, I decided to make him and his wife (Ferdinand Habsburg -Mary's cousin, Charles V's younger brother- daughter) older and their daughter born a few years after Mary and Tommen's son.


	3. In the shadow of the Crown

_“Bury me softly in this womb_  
I kept this part of me from you  
Sand rains down and here I sit  
holding rare flowers in a tomb

 _Down in a hole and I don’t know_  
if I can be saved  
See my heart I decorate it like a grave  
Well you don’t understand who   
they thought I was supposed to be  
Look at me now  
I am a man who won’t let himself be  
Down in a hole, feeling so small  
Down in a hole, losing my soul

_I’d like to fly, but my wings  
have been so denied_

_Down in a hole and they’ve put_  
all the stones in their place  
I’ve eaten the sun   
so my tomb has been burned of the taste  
I have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth  
I will speak no more  
of my feelings beneath

 _Down in a hole, feeling so small_  
Down in a hole, losing my soul  
I’d like to fly   
but my wings have been so denied  
Bury me softly in this womb  
Oh I want to be inside of you  
I give this part of me for you  
Oh I want to be inside of you

 _San rains down and here I sit_  
Holding rare flowers in a tomb  
Oh I want to be inside of you

 _Down in a hole, feeling so small_  
Down in a hole, losing my soul  
Down in a hole, feeling so small  
Down in a hole, outta control  
I’d like to fly  
but my wings have been so denied”  
**~Down in a Hole by Alice in Chains**

_“All she wanted was for things to be nice and pretty, the way they were in songs … You’re a fool. A beautiful golden fool.”  
**~A Song of Ice and Fire**_

“The more people you love, the weaker you love.” Tommen repeated the words as if they were part of the gospel. Cersei always said that there would come another one, younger and more beautiful, to take everything she loved until she was left with nothing and then the Valonquar would come, and wrap his hands around her, ending her life. It turned out that it wasn’t Margaery who took everything she loved, although she helped, taking him from her, but Daenerys Targaryen. His mother had always been an idiot, believing that men were the key to everything, wishing that she were born one instead of a woman; considering herself better than half the members in her family, including her own son.

Though she didn’t lose her son (in body), she did kill his spirit, thus ensuring his death. When he dreamed, he dreamed of jumping from the highest window in the Red Keep, and waking up to find that this was all a nightmare, surrounded by his wife and their newborn son. But instead he was greeted with the sight of his wretched wife.

 _She is beautiful._ His mind racked.   
_She is._ He agreed. _But she is also a terrible human being._ If it wasn’t for her beauty, he would have never bedded her. He thanked the maker for alcohol, because it dimmed his senses enough so he’d see Margaery instead of her.

He placed his hand on top of her half-swollen belly. The best vengeance would be turning this child into his. Ensuring that her lover never got close to it without the child squealing like a fat little pig, begging to go back to its _true father._ His father insisted on working things out with her, but Tommen always responded with the same phrase. Then there was his uncle Tyrion, reminding him of his supposed father, Robert Baratheon and what his actions with his mother brought him.  
**_“Robert was more of a father to me than the incestuous king’s slayer.”_** Was Tommen’s response.  
He wiped the tears from his wife’s face and kissed her face, causing her to shiver. “Don’t worry sweetheart, I won’t let any harm come to our sweet child. What kind of a man would I be if I didn’t protect my wife and unborn son?”

 _I hate you Tommen._ She thought as she felt his lips on her skin again. _I will never forgive you for this. I swear by all of my ancestors, I will make you pay, even if it takes me an eternity. I will see my fortunes returned to me and see my children with crowns on their heads and you under me, begging me for mercy like the dog you are._

The day came when she gave birth to her child. It was a draining experience, more than her last child. Her labor had lasted almost two days. Everyone didn’t think she’d survived and had brought a priest to give her the last rites when she surprised them (once more) and pushed the baby out of her womb.

After she was cleaned she was thrust in her arms. “She is so beautiful.” Susan said, in awe of her friend who behaved like a warrior queen during her labor.

“She is.” Mary agreed and checked her toes, her fingers, and her head, to make sure that everything was fine. “She is perfect.”

Light blue eyes and dark hair as Philip with her skin tone, she was a true gem.

“What will you name her? I don’t suppose Katherine, that one is taken and there would be too much confusion in court.”

Mary agreed. Although she would have loved to name her Katherine since she, more than her eldest daughter, looked like her mother. A thought then came to Mary.

“What is it?” Susan asked seeing a smile spread across her lips.

“I have the perfect name for her. Isabella.”

“That’s a powerful name. Isabella Tudor-Lannister.”

Mary regretted having this child share the same last name as her half-siblings but she had no choice. Once Philip is told about the birth, he will know this child is his and he will pledge his undying loyalty to me.

She was grateful that God had granted her this small gift. This child was going to be her salvation. This little product of love would bring Philip closer to her.

Her moment of happiness was interrupted by Tommen who entered the birthing chamber. “I received he news while I was hunting that you had given birth to my daughter. May I see her?”

“I am afraid that my lady is too tired at the moment, if you would like to come and visit them later.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion lady Susan; I gave my wife a command.” He moved closer to Mary. “Sweetheart. Won’t you let me see my new daughter?”

Mary’s eyes pierced Tommen’s. “If you hurt her, I swear-“

“Do not be ridiculous darling. Why would I hurt my own child?”

Mary continued to glare but finally gave in and handed him his daughter.

Tommen’s look was one of pride as he cradled her newborn daughter. “She looks like your mother. Doesn’t she?”

“Yes, lady Susan and Her Grace were just saying that.” One of her ladies said.

“Susan and I were discussing names.” Mary said. “I want her to be named Isabella after my grandmother.”

Tommen didn’t reply.

“It would mean a lot to me and my cousin.”

“I suppose it is a good name but I was thinking more along the lines of my maternal family. Joanna. It is a good Lannister name and she is a Lannister after all, she deserves one befitting her station and Isabella sounds too foreign.”

Mary glared at him, but she had no choice but to accept.

“Joanna Tudor-Lannister, what a wonderful life awaits you.” Tommen said giving his new _daughter_ and open smile when she giggled at him.

“Tommen. Give her back to me.” Mary said imperiously but Tommen dismissed her again, this time angering her even more by turning his back to her and telling her daughter how she’d make a good lady when she grew up. “Tommen.” She said, louder than she intended, causing her newborn daughter to cry.

Tommen gave her to the midwife and turned to his wife. “I am sorry sweetheart but I have advised the midwives and your doctors to rest. Little Joanna will be well cared for by the staff I have set for her in the nursery. Do not worry, after her christening, you will get to see her again.”

“You bastard. She is my daughter Tommen! Give her back to me!” But her screams only made things worse. Unable to stand her antics, she was left alone except for two of her maids, including Susan.

 

* * *

Henry VIII’s privy council was becoming alarmed. His eldest son had been struck by several illnesses. His fingers were becoming gangrenous. Unable to keep any food down and racked by constant pain, their future King was attended by every doctor in the realm.

To make matters worse, the future he had envisioned was changing before his eyes when he received an ambassador from his youngest daughter’s husband, confirming the rumors that Bess had given birth to a healthy male child. Pressed by his present wife, he was forced to consider other options. Mary was unthinkable, yet, she had healthy male heirs and one of them with a fertile wife. He couldn’t pass them up just because of who their mother was. Then there was Elizabeth. Her son would likely never inherit the North but knowing his daughter, she’d raise him to be a good statesman and should something happen to his older cousins and uncles, he’d be the next King of England.

Against Gardiner and several others’ advice, Henry renewed his will. The part where he had left Mary as the next in line after Edward and Edmund was reworded. Instead of his eldest daughter wearing the crown of St Edward, she was passed over in favor of her sons and daughter and then Elizabeth’s male heir.”

This didn’t sit well with Mary who railed at her father, as sick as he was. “I am your daughter!”

“And as such, you will obey me and thank me for giving your offspring -including your daughter- this great honor.”

“That is all you care about, isn’t it? Boys. It has always been boys. Didn’t it ever occur to you that a daughter might be the one to carry your legacy?”

Henry chuckled as did the rest of his councilors, including his influential physician Doctor Butts who whispered something in his ear which made him laugh harder.

“I do not pass you over because you are a woman but because you are not what this country needs. Should something terrible befall Edward and his brother who will be left to pick up the pieces and carry on with my legacy?” Before she opened her mouth, he answered. “You can barely control your own household. Your firstborn could barely wait to consummate his marriage to his wife and that wasn’t even a year after the two met.” He lowered his voice. “Not to mention that she fell pregnant very quickly proving that his seed is stronger than any one in our family, and his wife is not the laughing stock the way you are by your constant disobedience to your lord.”

“He is not my lord.”

“Your husband is your lord and your master. Your mother, God rest her soul, was many things but she knew when to be silent. All these years of worshiping her, one would have guessed you would have learned something from her.”

“Maybe if His Majesty didn’t keep us apart I would have learned something from my lady mother, your true Queen.”

There. She had done it. His councilors backed away from their angry master as he made his way to his daughter and without warning slapped her across the face. But she did not fell, nor did she cry the way she had done when Tommen had done the same. Instead, she kept her stoic posture and bringing one hand to her cheek she said. “I shall consider this the great honor, coming from the hands of the King who delivered us from the hands of the evil Bishop of Rome and so many other devious men.”

Henry VIII was not amused by her sarcasm. “Go before I grant you more honors in front of my men.”

Mary curtsied and graciously smiled at his privy councilors. “My lords, Your Majesty” then left. Her son who was waiting for his mother to leave did not bother to ask who had given her the bruise. Her quiet demeanor and sinister smile told him everything. When he entered, the King was happy to receive him and asked him for his advice on the matter. After giving it, he was retired early from his chambers and sent back to his wife who was playing with his baby sister.

Half-sister, his mind corrected him. Seeing her ocean blue eyes, her pale face and her dark hair, he couldn’t help but think of her mother’s humiliation at the hands of his father every time he saw her. She had debased herself in order to save this pathetic creature and what had she gotten in return? She wasn’t even allowed to wean her. After she was born, his father took her from her arms and declared in front of everyone that she would be, after Kathryn, his most precious jewel in his treasure chest and he’d treasure her.  
William knew what his father’s plan was. And he was already a step ahead of him. Before the Christening, he and his wife had announced her pregnancy and as a special favor, the King granted him temporary custody of his sister. _“It will be a good training exercise for me and my wife before our child is born.”_ William told his father. Tommen smiled at his son, patted his back and told him that he was a genius. _“Your mother won’t know what hit her once she finds out._ ”  
But if his father truly knew him, he’d know that he’d lost respect for both of them. He didn’t care what his mother thought, any more than him. His sole interest was on that child. What horrible crime could she have committed to deserve such a life?  
Marie Eleanor hired a wet-nurse for her and moved her nursery next to their bedchamber, so she could tend to her when she wasn’t busy gambling with her ladies, or attending a royal banquet.

There was no doubt in William’s mind about his wife’s generosity. She knew, or at the very least suspected, of her uncle’s affair with her mother-in-law but said nothing. Any other wife would have demanded to know whose child that was and the reason for bringing a child of sin into their home, chastising their spouses for having done so, but Marie Eleanor was wiser than most women.   
She knew the English court was a dangerous place, and eager to make her parents and German cousins proud, she committed herself fully to becoming the ideal consort.

“My uncle wrote to me. He is coming to visit the court this Christmas. He is going to be His Majesty’s guest of honor.”

“Splendid.” William said, so low that only Marie Eleanor could hear him. Just what they needed, that no-good Duke nosing around in his parents’ business. Knowing his perfectly, dutiful mother, she had written to him in secret, telling him about her husband’s wonderful treatment.

Marie Eleanor gave Joana back to her wet-nurse and told her governess to go back to the nursery and dismissed the rest of her women.

“Are you still mad at my uncle because he sired your new sister?”

“Do not start.” William said, briefly turning behind him.

“Relax. My ladies are discreet and if I speak so bluntly is because I am certain no one will divulge our little secrets. Not like anyone needs to know. Everyone has a secret to keep in this court and from what you’ve told me, your mother’s pales in comparison to the rest of your grandfather’s men.”

“Still, we should be careful.” William advised.

“You forget I am my father’s daughter and my mother taught her children well, especially her daughters.” She said, recalling her early lessons with her mother. She was a Habsburg so naturally she instilled an independent thinking on her daughter but always made sure she was observant to God’s laws and men’s, and reproached her whenever she was not being attentive or speaking out of turn. Unlike most of the women in her father’s family, she was ready to navigate the dangerous waters of the English court and she loved a challenge. The thought of being a Duke’s wife and close to one of the most scandalous courts in Christendom didn’t bother her one bit. Prestige. Power. Respect. These were the only things that mattered, and it was the number one objective of any royal daughter to marry high so her nation would have an alliance.

“I do not question your judgment Marie, but we’ve come to a dangerous place and it is getting more dangerous every day. Who knows what will happen if my uncles die.”

“You will be King.”

“It will not be that simple. You know that. My lady mother will never accept the prospect of being passed over, even if it means I get to wear her crown.”

“All your lady mother needs is some diversion from her dreary life at Hudson. I swear, your sister’s twin Jasper makes it sound like it is the ninth circle of hell. Once she sees the good work we’ve done with your youngest sister and my uncle, she will forget about it.”

“Your intentions are good Marie but you do not know my mother well enough. She never forgets a slight.”

“You need to learn to trust women’s judgment more often William. Your grandfather left you as one of the leading members of the Regency Council for a good reason. He made you his heir after him and Edmund for a good reason. Clearly he trusts you. He values the good work you’ve done in the North, putting down those rebellions and winning those castles in France. Not to mention that you made a good impression on the new King of France and his frigid queen and uptight mistress.”

William chuckled at that. “You compliment me too much. Lord Hertford and Sir Thomas Seymour were there with me and Sir Sadler took care of the negotiations with the Regent in Scotland for the most part.”

“But you intervened when Marie of Guise threatened to use full force against the stationary forces your grandfather sent. You convinced her, using the right words to back down. Everyone still talks about it.”

William grimaced at that. Most of the court got the polished version where he saved the king’s ambassador from the savage French woman and the treacherous Earl of Arran, who’d previously been in his grandfather’s payroll, and prevented an international crisis. What people didn’t know was that he got the queen mother alone in her chamber, posing as her lover and when she discovered who he was, he took out his dagger and held it to her throat and whispered in her ear _“I kill you, your daughter’s troops in your command kill me and she is forced to come back but by the time she does along with her weakling husband, she finds that her precious country is in the hands of the English and she will be free of her head before she knows it.”_

As much as the court loved the idea of humiliating the Scots’ Queen and her mother, the thought of a man of lower status, even if that man was the King’s grandson, entering a woman’s chamber in the middle of the night making such threats, would alarm even the most vulgar of men.

She took his hand then kissed his cheek. “You will do fine. Trust in me William, my father would not agree to your grandfather’s proposal if he didn’t think you strong.”

* * *

When the King breathed his last, Mary was dressed in black but her coronet was gold as the symbol of the Tudor rose on the front of her dress. She didn’t care that people thought she was ostentatious. She wanted them to see her, proud and elegant as her mother had been in her days as Queen of England. _And I will be Queen someday._ She would see every single one of them bowing their heads to her, their screams drowned by the cries of her supporters, cheering their new queen of hearts.

As was customary Edward didn’t attend his father’s funeral, neither did his younger brother. But the Queen Dowager was there, and already she was eying Sir Thomas Seymour.

 _Poor woman._ Mary truly pitied her. _Sir Thomas Seymour will make her very happy … for a time_.

She wanted to turn around and see Philip’s face. Just thinking of him brought a smile to her face. The way he looked at her when nobody was paying attention was intoxicating.   
As his family’s representative, he was their guest of honor. With Tommen still in his harlot’s bed, Mary had many opportunities to visit him. Every time he’d talked about his adventures and every time he’d told her about his personal fantasies to punish Tommen in the same way he had punished his enemies.  
_“Be patient. It will come.”_ She promised him.   
She was slightly disappointed that he had not asked about their daughter; she had to bring her in the conversation. Philip seemed unfazed by it. The only strong reaction she got was when she told him what Tommen had done and how much it hurt her. She wanted to reproach him for it, but then thought against it. His devotion to her was proof that he loved her, even if that love didn’t extend to their offspring. She could use that love to turn it against her enemies.

She lowered her head as the archbishop of Canterbury began his sermon. Nobody could see beneath the veil how her smile widened as she thought of this.  
It was the big difference between her and her lady stepmother. Whereas she was so desperate for love that she was willing to sacrifice everything; Mary simply waited, nurturing Philip’s feelings to the point that he became her devoted servant.

Mary had to bite her tongue to avoid laughing when she heard her half-brother’s loud coughing. There is no denying it. His days are numbered. Edmund could boast good health unlike his sibling, but it would only be a matter of time before he became weak and followed his brother to an early grave. _Then it will be me._

She had waited so long. The mere thought of wearing the crown of St. Edward filled her with ecstasy. _Everything that should’ve been mine will be mine_.   
After the Mass, she and Tommen went back to their apartments. Today every courtier would sleep with their spouse. There would be no adulterous fornications. Their new King was as devout as they came, and he didn’t want any scandal on the day of his father’s funeral.

Her back against Tommen, Mary was forced to face his late wife’s portrait again. This time, she would not fail. No more mercy, no more acting the fool. She would have everything that was hers and those who stood in her way would be dealt with accordingly.


End file.
